HARARE: The “Zanu PF Bootlickers Club”, signed up a new member on Monday — Vice President Emmerson Mnangagwa.
Perhaps, conscious of the ugly economic situation that awaited his boss upon his return from the United States, where he had gone to attend the 72nd United Nations General Assembly, Mnangagwa — who was the acting head of State in President Robert Mugabe’s absence — went overboard with flattery to cheer him up a little bit.
The vice president likened Mugabe to the biblical David, the youngest son of Jesse who felled Goliath — a Philistine giant who measured over nine feet tall — using a sling and without even putting on his armour.
This was in reference to the Zanu PF leader’s sharp rebuke of United States President Donald Trump who is engaged in a war of words with trigger-happy North Korean leader, Kim Jong-un.
Trump has threatened to wipe out North Korea from the face of earth.
Last week, Mugabe who is presiding over a failing economy had strong words for Trump who leads an economy with a gross domestic product of $18,5 trillion as of 2016.
Upon his arrival on Monday, Mnangagwa ensured he rubbed salt into the fresh wound.
He said: “We are here to show our gratitude and happiness to our father (Mugabe) and mother (Grace Mugabe) who had gone to New York.
“The United Nations has so many men: In Shona tinoti pane varume kwoita murume (in Shona we say they are men among men). Kumadzimai, handingazive, asi kuvarume kune vanhurume kozoita murume, (I do not know about how this would apply to women but among males there are some real men) and in New York only one man emerged and that is baba vedu vaMugabe,” gushed the vice president.
Mnangagwa went on to draw parallels between Mugabe and David who, in the year that followed, became the second king of the united kingdom of Israel and Judah.
“When you saw Goliath (Trump) speaking, people were left confused. And when our father spoke questioning whether the biblical Goliath was among us now, we saw the light,” he enthused.
“The next day, there was lunch, but Goliath did not invite David because he was afraid. While he (Mugabe) was there, we wrote a letter to him thanking him for his speech. He was not speaking only for Zimbabwe, but for Sadc and Africa at large: He was representing all progressive forces.
While Mnangagwa might have forgotten to remind Mugabe of another Goliath that awaited him — the tottering economy — he was quick to remember the first lady’s contribution to the Zanu PF leader’s giant killing act in New York.
“We would also like to thank Amai because dai vakaenda papodium vasina kudya, zvanga zvisingabudi. Vanga vakaguta, vabikigwa, zvinonaka naamai (we would also like to thank the first lady because if he (Mugabe) had not had food that had been cooked by her, he could not have the energy to say what he said; he ate delicious food that had been prepared by mother),” reasoned the vice president.